Combating Loneliness Despite COVID 19

If you are feeling lonely, you are not alone.  A report by Cigna found that loneliness was "at Epidemic Levels in America" due to COVID-19, and that over 3 out of 5 people reported feeling isolated and left out. Keep in mind this study was released at the end of January, and predated social distancing measures in the United States implemented as a response to the Coronavirus!

Loneliness is considered to be a public health problem and is at a new height with stay at home orders. The solitude of the quarantines allow for reflection on the things that are truly valuable such as relationships or community with others. Loneliness reduces self-esteem as it makes you think we are not worthy of relationships and can lead to a downward spiral of pulling away from others.

Loneliness can lead to health risks like heart problems due to increased stress of worrying about lack of relationship with others. Many people who feel lonely don’t know how to reach out to others and often feel shame in communicating about how they feel to other people as a result. Further many people who know people who feel lonely don’t know how to help. Here are a few tips to try to reduce loneliness if you are going through the experience or to share with a person who is experience loneliness:

1. Connect with Things You Enjoy
   When you do things you enjoy, you realize you have value. This allows you to reach out to other people in those spaces allowing you to gain knowledge of who you are, what you need, and accept yourself -- a good foundation for connecting with others. With sheltering-in-place orders, connecting in-person is unlikely, but connecting online is a start. So, if you enjoy yoga, begin doing yoga online. If you walk or run, apps allow you to work out and share your story for others to read and be inspired by. Building a community online is a great way to connect with others of similar interest.
2. Create Social Networks
   Find ways to intentionally connect with friends.  Just because you are separated by distance does not mean you have to be apart. Make an agreement to video chat or have a phone call and talk honestly about your lives once a month to create an opportunity for fun as well as support. You can agree to have last minute meetings if anyone needs the support.  Connections with friends are very important for seeing you through happy and sad times, but you have to make it happen.
3. Reach out to Others
   Often time we get upset that no one is calling us or seeking us out. On the other end of the spectrum, someone else is thinking we are not calling or reaching out to him or her.  No matter who reaches out, the outcome is the same: a feeling of joy causing you to forget who reached out to whom. Since it is the connection that matters, it is good to be the one to reach out to others without judgment of who called whom. Some people are naturally wired to reach out to others and some are not as much; don’t let that stop your joy.
4. Provide Service to Others
   Find a way to help others, such as volunteer opportunities or helping your neighbor with an errand or a friend by listening to them.  Simply listening to others can be a powerful experience for the person sharing and the person listening. Helping others does not have to be a big scale experience; it can be simply reaching out to a friend going through a hard time. Service gives you a feeling you are giving value to others and creates good feelings for all involved.

These are simple tips that can help you cope with feelings of loneliness. Developing a social support network has the potential to increase self-esteem, reduce stress, and heart risk. Those who have suffered from loneliness know you can't just flip switch and begin connecting with others overnight. It is recommend you start off slowly and take baby steps to begin the journey. Of course, if you are feeling like harming yourself or know someone who is please contact the Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255.

I would be interested in hearing your experience of taking steps to connect with others. Sharing is a way of connecting with others and can be inspirational to others in the same boat. Please share in the comments below.